You’ve got something important on your mind. You know it’s going to be a difficult subject to discuss. When is the right time to bring it up?  Unfortunately. all too often these conversations are left until we are 3/4s of the way down a bottle of dutch courage then it all comes out – confrontation, accusation, arguments and tears. There is a better way.

• Don’t make it all his/her fault. Any accusation will just make your partner defensive and heighten the situation. 
• Don’t stray off the subject. It’s all too easy to go down the “… and another thing….” road but that is not going to help you to resolve this particular issue.
• Keep calm. Practice what you are going to say and prepare for his/her possible answers. Don’t resort to shouting or crying because you are out of control. Remain focused on what you are trying to achieve. 
• Be honest. Don’t exaggerate. For example, saying “you never wash up” will merely make him/her remember the last time that he did, to prove you wrong. 
• Listen to your partner. Although you have strong feelings on this subject, your partner might have too. Make sure that you listen to his/her reasoning, you never know once you have discussed it, you might actually agree with that point of view. 
• Don’t have this discussion in front of others and don’t bring other people into it.  If you say that someone else agrees with you then your partner could, quite rightly, feel hurt and upset that you are discussing your private life with others. 
• Don’t give ultimatums, you never know he/she might call your bluff.