Following on from comments about our article "How to be a Great Husband", we have decided to put together an article about How to be a Great Wife.

You want to be a wonderful wife, but what does that mean? Well, ultimately, it's up to you and your husband to determine the needs of your relationship and how each partner can do their part to fulfill them but there are some guidelines to start you off.

1.  Love yourself. Putting yourself down in front of him is another way of insulting his taste in women. If he is with you, it's because he wants to be. Remember that he loves the whole package - not just the way your hair looks, or your figure or even whether or not you burnt the dinner. Poor self-esteem is terrible for your marriage.

2. Keep a life outside of your marriage.  Don't make him your whole world or you will begin to obsess about where he is and what he is doing. Maintain interests that involve you as an individual not just as part of a couple. Make sure you still have a fun and interesting life. If your husband left tomorrow, would you still have friends to see, hobby clubs to go to, sports to play? If not, your husband will always be working to fill a void, and will feel inadequate and unhappy.

3. Express your feelings and needs. Except in the rare event that your husband happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-reading powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop hints, make vague accusations or sulk. Communicate calmly, clearly and directly. Relationships work best when each partner expresses their current emotion without harping on about what the other has done. Frequently, "I feel ignored" or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, "Why?" Then simply explain what caused you to feel this way. Let "I feel" be your starting point.

4. Don't expect the moon. If you expectations are too high you need to reassess what you want.  For example if you want to be lavished with expensive gifts you have to accept that he will need to work longer hours to afford them. Alternatively if you would prefer more "together time" you may need to forgo that diamond ring.

4. Pick your battles. Nagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don't nag about how to load the dishwasher "the right way". Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is important.

5. Offer sex frequently... (If appropriate; there are many causes which may warrant caution, for example : illness, age, disability, cultural or religious clashes, and undiagnosed or hidden psychiatric disorders.)

• To most men, this is a crucial area of their marriage and defines the tone of their relationship with their wife. It relieves stress and helps him to relax.
• Many men would like to have sex every day; for some men, once a week is enough. Most are pleased with 2 to 4 times a week. (this of course varies with every man, ask yours what he likes!)
• Without the intimate acceptance and love that comes from your lovemaking, a man can become dissatisfied, grumpy and may suffer from feelings of rejection and insecurity. On the other hand, if you offer sex to your man frequently and he will feel attractive and loved.

6.  Keep your sex life interesting. Ensure you discuss your sex life with him. Also, don't be afraid to discuss anything you might be interested in. Physical intimacy is as important to a marriage as emotional intimacy. Nurture them both. Skin contact is our largest sense organ, so "physical" is not necessarily sexual.

7. Be stress relief, not a source of stress. Men (and women) deal with stress all day and every day. They deal with stress at work and at home. Do what you can to help him deal with the stress of every day life, and try not to add to it.

8. Don't criticize your husband, not in his presence or in his absence. Be supportive, encouraging and complimentary about him as much as you can. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, but this should be done in private not when you are out with your friends and remember that there's a difference between expressing your needs and criticizing his ability to meet them.