The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief. However, even subtle losses can lead to grief. For example, you might experience grief after moving away from home, graduating from college, changing jobs, selling your family home, or retiring from a career you loved.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. You can get through it! Grief that is expressed and experienced has a potential for healing that eventually can strengthen and enrich life.
Your grief is unique. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. Don't allow others to tell you what you should or should not be feeling or for how long you should be feeling this way. Everyone is different and many things can affect the level of grief you experience, for example your coping style, your personality, the nature of the loss, another loss within the last 6 months, etc.
Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief.
You will experience a multitude of emotions. Shock and disbelief, confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt, anger and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. know that there is no such thing as a "wrong" emotion. Accept all your feelings and find listeners who will do the same.
Be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling tired. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don't allow others to push you into things you don't feel ready to do.
If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won't be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
You may find yourself asking "Why did he or she die? Why this way? why now?" some of your questions may have answers, but some may not.
Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. Instead of ignoring them, find creative ways to treasure and embrace them. Write them down, create a scrap book, etc.
Come to terms with the fact that your grief may not pass quickly. In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the "Five Stages of Grief" (DENIAL - ANGER - BARGAINING - DEPRESSION - ACCEPTANCE) however many people since have likened grief instead to a rollercoaster ride with lots of unexpected ups and downs. You may find that you experience grief "attacks." Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal and natural. Remember grief is a process not an event.
Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.
You have the right to move on with your life. It is your loved one who is dead, not you. When you have reached the point where you are ready to move on do it! You are not being disrespectful. It is a compliment to a dead spouse that you miss the relationship that is now gone and you want to seek another to replace it. "
